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Raising Boys

One of my biggest challenges since divorcing has been raising my son! Yes, that is a vulnerable statement for me. As a woman, there are things inherently that I cannot teach because I do not know how to be a man. For this reason, if he asks to spend time with his Dad outside of our scheduled order whether to watch a football game or play video games I am always on board. With that being said, during this social distancing time period I have had to do some adjustments as we are in a reprieve from child exchanges due to safety during the pandemic. I have had to make some adjustments, and here are some tips on raising boys especially during this time:

1. Increase my effort to take part in his interests! Recently I found myself watching the NFL draft for hours and engaging in Manchester City discussions, both things he loves deeply. The big thing about love is that we have to take part in our loved ones interests even when we do not like it because that is apart of showing love!

2. Keep him busy! I knew he was bored when one day he folded a mound of laundry without me asking. This made me find a number of projects around the house for him to do and even getting him involved in the kitchen.

3. Loosen the reigns a lot. Honestly, I am not a fan of video games and my son typically is not allowed to play video games at my home. However, his Dad wanted to send him a video game system for he thought it would be a good way to occupy his time and they could play online together. I loosed my reigns and allowed the video game system, but with a contract which I will talk about in a later post.

4. More hugs and snuggles. In the age of not trying to raise an extreme mama's boy, I think we often forget that our sons need affection from their mothers even as their voice changes and puberty starts. I have to make a more cautious effort to make sure that I am really giving my son affection in the form of hugs because I did not come from an outwardly affectionate family.

Raising boys for a mother can be a challenge and even more so as a single mother. Acting out is not always necessary because they are "bad," but actually is typically a cry for attention. Raising children and especially sons is a constant social experiment, so hopefully my tips can you navigate your journey in raising a son that is growing in the right direction as he approaches manhood.

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